I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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