Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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