Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
