Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
