well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
