i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
