He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
