you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
