I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
