I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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