i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize