i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
