Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
