Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
