He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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