So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
His nipple licking is glorious
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