You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
