My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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