My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
