I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
