hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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