If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
