Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
