My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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