I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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