You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize