mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
