I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My cat gives me a boner
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
