Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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