he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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