I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
