Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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