i would punch a child for taco bell
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize