bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
