I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
