Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
