MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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