Too much gin, very little bucket
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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