you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
