They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize