First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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