here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
