I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize