Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
