This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
