forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
