she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
