i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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