clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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