Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
