moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
