what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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