are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
