I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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