I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
