I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
