these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
