What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
