i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
