The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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