We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
