She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
