Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
