Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize